Hi, I’m Stephanie.
I’m a writer, writing coach, and Gatherer-in-Chief at The Writers’ Cottage, a cozy, supportive online community for female-identifying writers.
Here are a few other things about me:
I believe deeply in the power of stories.
I’m an introvert and a stubborn Enneagram 6.
I was an elementary teacher for my first career.
I love to be in, on, or next to the water as much as possible.
If something in you calls you to write, I’m 100% in your corner. Always.
When I was 8, I wrote a story for my grandfather titled Why Grandpas Are Special. It was about a little girl’s grandfather who bought her a pony (and kept it in his yard, of course, since hers was too small). And she loved him SO, SO much.
I handed him the story bound in red construction paper, rolled and tied with a ribbon. He read it aloud like a kindergarten teacher to his class, all the while laughing and wiping away tears.
It was thrilling to have a story created in my imagination received so emotionally by my ideal audience, and even though I didn’t get a pony out of the deal, that feeling has long stayed with me. I decided then to be An Author.
All talk, no write.
I had other interests too, one of which was working with children. Life lead me to teaching in public education, where – shocker! – my favorite subject was writing. Coaching students from second grade through college to generate an idea and see it come alive on the page was so satisfying. I saw many of them go from deeply doubting their ability to write to seeing themselves as writers.
I founded a nonprofit creative writing program for kids and teens in my community. For six years, we offered free workshops, teen writing conferences, and one-on-one support to local young writers with volunteer adult writers.
The problem was that I didn’t believe in myself as a writer. I thought I was too busy, too distracted, too unmotivated to ever make my dream a reality. I thought I was unqualified, untrained, unlikely to ever get published.
(Sound familiar? It is such common self-talk among creatives. But there is a way out.)
Time to make the slo-o-ow shift.
It wasn’t enough that I WANTED to write. I realized that if I was going to be a writer, I needed to be willing to believe in myself and my ideas. And the only way I was going to do that was to learn how to manage my own self-doubt.
I needed to follow the advice I’d been giving my students for years. To help myself sit with the doubt and fear and put words on the page in an intentional way. I needed to learn how to revise my thinking and my expectations.
So I did that work for myself. It didn’t happen overnight; in fact, it’s ongoing. But an early result was the publication of my first book, Unspoken, in early 2020.
Through my book coach certification courses and other coursework, I’ve learned about the value of creating a solid foundation for a story, those elements without which no amount of plot can keep a story upright. I call these things The Heartbeat of a Story.
Yes, it all takes effort and consistent practice. But it’s not just possible…
It’s totally worth it.
A little more about me:
Here is what I believe:
Your story matters. You deserve to write it and you have a reader out there who needs it.
There is no "right" way to write (but there are some things that can help).
You can write with a schedule that fits your life.
Self-doubt is part of the process, and it doesn’t need to keep you from writing.
The deeper you understand your story, the more your reader will be impacted by it.
Your story will only get written if you write it.
You’ve waited long enough to become the writer you’ve always wanted to be.
We writers need community.
I live in Bellingham, WA with my husband, two emerging adults, two cats, and a dog who is as much of a challenge as he is adorable, on the ancestral homelands of the Coast Salish Peoples, Lummi Nation, and Nooksack Tribe, who have lived in the Salish Sea basin throughout the San Juan Islands and the North Cascades watershed from time immemorial. I love reading, taking walks, paddleboarding, swimming, genuine conversation, and afternoon naps.
Official bio:
Stephanie Dethlefs is a writer, writing coach, and teacher. Through her online community and personalized one-on-one coaching, Stephanie strives to help people with stories on their hearts get them out of their heads and onto the page with ease and self-compassion. She is the author of the middle grade novel Unspoken, and her stories, essays, and articles can be found in a number of regional and national publications. She lives with her family in the Pacific Northwest. Find her on Substack at Living Revisions.